Diane Shortland

Freelance Writer

20 Things to Know About Me

1) I live in East Anglia on the Lincs/Norfolk boarder and spend as much time as I can on the Norfolk coast. My dream is to live by the waters edge and wake up to the sound and sight of the ocean every morning. I am and always will be a beach bum at heart. In short, I am happiest by the sea.

2) I enjoy Tai Chi, particularly practiced nearby said ocean, and have certificates in both the Yang style 8 and 24 form. I’m currently working on perfecting the 48 form and learning how to move my waist without my hips and shoulders following suit! Despite being a non-believer at first, I am now transformed in the art of Qigong meditation – try it, you’ll surprise yourself!

3) I am obsessed by VW Campervans and have been saving for 20 years to buy one – Dottie is in the process of being restored – it’s soon to be party time!

4) I am usually manic, occasionally flat, but rarely just so-so.

5) I love going to the cinema and would purchase my own seat at our local movie house if I could. It is my goal to experience as many ‘movie moments’ in my life as possible. It is not my place to think of these but merely to recognise their magical powers when they present themselves. An example of such a movie moment may involve a car chase to an airport by my lover to declare undying love for me before I board a plane to a faraway place whereupon I will immediately reconsider my foolish action and fall into their arms in a loving embrace. There will be fake movie rain.

6) I have never cooked a Sunday roast, on a Sunday or any other day.

7) I have a cat called Princess who is my writing companion. She is sane until nightfall where upon she films her own daily adventure series called ‘Let’s go crazy crazy cats’ and has in depth conversations with ‘Red Thing’ her trusty felt toy friend.

8) I am a keen photographer and am always on the look out for the perfect shot. I have a passion for black and white photography and even though I can appreciate the benefits of digital equipment, I still prefer the old school picture that cannot be ‘enhanced’. I would love to own my own dark room.

9) I love my partner, my family, my friends. They are my world.

10) I think theme parties rock. Never underestimate the joy putting on an afro wig can bring, or the pleasure that can be achieved from making a cardboard bobsled big enough for adults to play in! I have hosted casino, horse racing, Jamaican, hula, 70s, festival, crazy golf, American basketball, Cheerleader, Sister Act, and OAP theme events and have photographic evidence to prove it - much to everyone’s annoyance.

11) I believe laughter is the best medicine.

12) I am a philosopher. I am fascinated by the idea of being confined to what we can think, by our own consciousness. I wish I could test this theory.

13) I want to travel the whole way round Italy in a Camper living on love.

14) I love to try out new leisure pursuits and interests, and always approach them with great enthusiasm and motivation.

15) My favourite TV series ever, is The House of Eliot.

16) My idea of a perfect lunch would be freshly baked crusty bread, garlic prawns and samphire, served with chilled Savignon Blanc, and a view of the ocean, shared with the one I love.

17) I have a traditional stripy beach hut on the sea front called ‘Mr Whipple’ and a sign on the door that reads ‘One Sunset and you’re Sorted!’

18) I live for sunsets. They are like snowflakes – no two are ever the same. They mesmerise me; every time I see one, I am in awe as if it is the first time. They uplift me and help me feel content with life. They are most definitely the best over the ocean.

19)I love surfy clothing and surfing. I have recently bought a surfboard and enjoyed a crazy week in Woolacombe Bay surfing - there were many wipeouts!

20) I will love who I love without the need for a label.

Thank you for reading the lighter side of me!